The PeakReady Blog

You know you’re a peak oil doomer when…

• Posted by e4 on November 17th, 2007 filed in General

[ Another guest post, this time borrowed from Peaknik (with permission). She compiled this list a while back on the Yahoo group "Running on Empty 3"... ]

You know you’re a peak oil doomer when…

…you are seriously considering dandelion greens as a side for your supper because you can’t stand the fact that the plastic wrapped lettuce in your supermarket has traveled over 2,000 miles and the local Farmer’s Market hasn’t opened up for business yet.

…you observe cicadas for the propective protein they might deliver to your body in a fast crash scenario.

…you start using your dishwater to water the container plants on the deck.

…you travel long distances only out of necessity, observe the suburban sprawl development and visualize the chaos that will ensue in those neighborhoods for lack of transportation, electricity, heat, and water.

…it’s a windy day and you contemplate whether or not a wind turbine would be feasible in the area, and you wonder why nobody has any erected yet.

…you’re on a trip, you’re spending the night in a hotel, and you’re the only one in the group to notice that they’ve switched to CFLs in all of their lighting.

…you hope and pray for consistent temperatures between 60-80 degrees Fahrenheit throughout the year so that you don’t have to use any heating or cooling of which you haven’t had the ability to convince the rest of the family to switch to alternative forms of energy such as wind, solar, or geothermal yet.

…you’re in a supermarket shopping and you will only buy items grown and produced within your state or within 200 miles at the most.

…you go to garage sales and collect every hand tool you can find (and you’re a female).

…you go to a mall with your friends or family, and you’re upset and depressed that there isn’t a locally-owned store with locally-made
items in sight.

…you happen to have a trip calculator on your vehicle, so you obsess over the mileage by constantly looking at the instant miles/gallon at different speeds.

…you are upset that you can’t ride your bicycle to work and back in order to cut your oil consumption because it’s not safe for a female to ride through dark trails at 1:30 in the morning.

…you wonder if the river birch tree in your front yard is useful for something besides shade.

…you can’t understand why nobody else in the family is as enthusiastic as you are about solar cooking or using baking soda as a toothpaste (or another of it’s many uses).

…you’re depressed because bubble wrap is losing its popularity as a filler in packages because you could use it as insulation on your windows for the winter.

…you scoff at your neighbors selection of inedible landscaping plants.

…you seriously consider building an in-floor vent system to provide cold winter air to your refrigerator so you can eliminate another 500 watt hours per day of electric power consumption.

…when you have friends over during the winter they ask when you’re going to get the heater fixed.

…you consider a 200 square foot garden ‘practice’.

…you consider “Cookin’ with Home Storage” one of your most valuable cookbooks

…you’ve ever ordered from Walton Foods.

…you have more than 20 pounds of honey, but no bees.

…people who see your pantry ask if you are preparing for the Tribulation.

…you choose stone wheels with a lifetime guarantee for your grain mill, then buy two extra sets, just in case.

…you choose a half-ton 5hp stationary diesel engine from 1940 over the brand new 15kw natural gas powered backup generator because the newer model is too ‘high tech’.

…you see a large Koi pond and immediately wonder how many calories per year it would produce.

…you have livestock in your garage

…you skip right over “energy efficient” and research “hand-powered” .

…you wonder about the grazing potential of abandoned cornfields.

…you take your compass out to stake out a new outbuilding, to make sure it’s facing true south.

…you consider investing in draft harnesses - for your neighbor’s horse.

…you suggest to your parents that they use your old toys in their attic/basement as holiday gifts for your kids.

…you put a thermometer in your car on a sunny day, to see if it gets hot enough for cooking.

…you buy antiques on eBay, and actually use them

…you can use words like Ghawar and Cantarell in conversation.

…you see animal traps in the store and think “potential food source!”

…you become more interested in vermiculture instead of vermicelli.

…the dandelions and chickweed in your lawn are healthier-looking than the grass.

…you seriously consider turning your swimming pool into a fish pond.

…you wonder if the pet donkey you’ve had for 10 years can be trained to pack.

…you read about a massive leap in some energy technology and chuckle to yourself “Go ahead SUCKERS - see how far it gets ya…”

…you keep a “bug out bag” in your closet freshly stocked with bare survival materials, imagining that you could actually survive in the wilderness without help from other humans, as if any wilderness actually existed within a walkable distance of your domicile, and as if other people won’t have the same idea in such circumstances and be vastly better armed than yourself

….you think survival is living big.

…you get busted for burglary for stealing oil from MickeyD’s to power your camoflaged diesel Rabbit pickup.

…you sell the diesel Rabbit pick up, figuring it’ll only attract attention from the roving hordes, anyway.

…you spit at people who drive SUVs, and when they complain, tell them they’re “lucky it wasn’t a FREAKIN’ BULLET YOU GAS GUZZLING MORON!!!”

…you engage ideas of the glass half full or half empty, when in point of fact, the glass is simply too big.